A Weekly Journal Chronicling My Life
As It Intersects With The Garbage Dump Community Near La Ceiba, Honduras

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Few Thoughts On My New Home

I'm in now, I've been in for nigh on 3 weeks and life still doesn't seem normal - I just can't get into a rhythm. Construction and finishing touches continue unabatted but at a snail's pace, and that's part of the problem. Children are forever at my doorstep, wanting to come in, to play, to drink water, to vie for attention. I rarely have time to leave my home and visit in the community - I feel out of sorts, like I can't focus...and when I do have time to myself all I want to do is rest. This will all pass, I know, I'm the newest novelty in the community - but these past few weeks I've felt completely unproductive...counterproductive in some ways. Relationships have been strained, deadlines forgotten, life has become about me and getting things in order. I have to remind myself that things will never be perfect here, I live in an imperfect piece of paradise, I'm incredibly imperfect. I need God's wisdom and guidance now more than ever. I had a strange sensation the other day...I got the feeling that something had changed, where once this community was my work even my sanctuary, it has now become my life. The two had been separate but they've become one...no, strike that, life has taken over, the daily needs of water food, facilities, they've taken over. I have so little time for actual work as of late. Today is better though, tomorrow perhaps better yet. I live with two other people now, Cristian and Emanuel. One is like my son the other my friend - life in some respects revolves around them, their needs, I feel like their mother/father all at once. I also feel like I'm back in college, living in the dorms and having a grand old time of it. People swing by at their leisure, there's always excitement and no one ever wants to sleep...except me. I feel disjointed, this post feels disjointed...and vague. I'll give specifics later, I want to introduce you to Emanuel properly (I also want to write a book about him, his life is fascinating and depressing). I want to give you a true feel for what life is like here in Los Laureles, I want to detail how life has changed for me, what I've learned, how I've failed...where I see Jesus. Right now though I can't, I can't focus, I can't organize my thoughts coherently. I apologize.

i know, i'm a mennonite, we don't wave flags but the idea came to me one day this past week. we don't have doors for our rooms - no one in laureles does, it's a luxury no one has money to invest in so they use curtains to section off rooms or hang in doorways (those that are lucky enough to have doorways). in that cristian and emanuel live in one room and i in the other we thought it would be funny to hang our respective flags as door curtains.

i even have a skylight in my room...for a few hours i did at least while the electrician was making some changes.

try to top that aunt sharon

water came for the first time in 3 days today. we spent the morning filling the outside sink and any bucket or tub we could find.

no one likes my bare old tree but i love it and refuse to cut it down.

my work of art

lauro thinks he lives here too

the kids have picked up dutch blitz like a bad addiction, they play every chance they get.

oscar hasn't really learned yet...

almost as good as a real mennonite

duke though could rival linda byler

tu bandera, tu bandera o'er the land of the free and the home of the basural


roberta said...

Why are you now living somewhere other than where you were living before?

becca said...

i'm coming soon and playing dutch blitz w/them!!! tell them all i love them!!

Julia Gómez said...

Mira tu organización y en especial tu buena persona representa para la comunidad una luz de esperanza, y se por experiencia propia que uno quisiera dar mas y mas pero no todo depende de ti, y si aveces las cosas no salen como uno las planea y cuando las desea, siempre las vuelves a programar, es dificil creer que al final de lo programado no hayas terminado o algo te haya quedado pendiente por terminar, tu sigue persistiendo en tu propósito y lo lograras!.Todos pasamos por malo dias, dias dificiles y queremos ver buenos resultados en corto tiempo, pero la realidad es que hay que ser pacientes que todo llegará en su momento, lo bueno es que la comunidad te a aceptado se que no es fácil, que las carencias son muchas( por no decir muchisimas)pero que con la ayuda de Dios se ven desde otro punto de vista!...todos nos ponemos metas que cumplir en año y que si no los logramos nos ponemos decepcionados pero creo que tenemos que ser muy optimistas para este año nuevo levantate con mucho optimismo y ya veras que cada dia haciendo todo lo que haces, al final del dia ( y muy cansado) te sentiras bien y satisfecho! ANIMO!!!